|
|
||||||||||
|
 |
After an hour of African Morris Dancing, some karaoke Europop, Charlize Theron looking palpably bored, Beckham taking banality to new levels, and toe-curling FIFA self congratulatory videos we finally got the draw and get an initial feel for how The Biggest Show on Earth 2010 will look. And as a New Zealander it felt strange to be part of it. It was like the teenage kid finally being asked to join in with the adults in a key-swapping orgy. So lets go through the jar, and try to make some sense of it. FIFA’s Baby South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France One of the most intriguing aspects of the Guardian Fans’ Network on Saturday was the waves of conspiracy theories around France, and how everything is just a massive French FIFA jack-up. Especially from the English contributors. And when the bloke spinning the barrel came out with his Inspector Clouseau accent, well that made matters worse. So, really, it should come as no surprise that the unseeded France got the only seeded team that’s not really a seed. In the mix as well are Uruguay and Mexico; 2 serial underperformers at this event. So FIFA may well allow themselves a smile as their alleged pets go through with the hosts. African Hopes Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece This was meant to be the tournament where African teams could strut their stuff. But Nigeria is the only team who has ended up with a favourable draw. Who knows which Argentina will turn up for the finals, but they have to be pretty pleased with things too. It gives that nice man who coachers them a good chance to use all squad members, most of them probably out of position, in pool games. South Korea are likely to find this group a bit physical, and if there’s any justice in the world Greece will find that playing teams from other continents won’t suit their one-dimensional style.
England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia The suits at Team Soccer USA must be looking forward to this one. A pretty soft group kicked off with a match against a side with their pin-up boy in it. Having the only Muslim nation at the cup against those 2 sides is a nice touch, and Slovenia impressed in the previous appearance, but the countries with their “Special Relationship” would back themselves. So England must be favoured to go through, but that is not typically where their problems at World Cups lie. In other unrelated news; Lampard and Defoe fluffed penalties over the weekend. Group of Hilarity Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana Poor Australia. For so long victims of cruel twists of fate. Allocated play-offs against the 5th South American team; hoping for Venezuela and getting Argentina, forced them to shift continents and take fate out of the equation. That part worked, but getting drawn with 3 heavyweights was the reward. Never mind, at least the clash with Serbia should be a tasty one. In theory no side is certain to get through this group, but you just know Germany will make it. The rest is very hard to call; Serbia should be tougher now they’ve dropped the “& Montenegro” part, and Australia will play their part. Another reason we should enjoy this group is that it means the All Whites are likely to get to play some pretty decent teams in their build-up. Group of Pretty Things Holland, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon In the wash-up after the draw, no-one seems to paying this group much attention which seems strange. All 4 teams here were impressive in making it this far. The Netherlands made it on the back of a perfect qualification campaign, and seem to have maintained their status of everyone’s Second Favourite Team. The Danes were almost as impressive in topping a group that contained Portugal and Sweden; their only defeat coming after they had made it. Cameroon topped their group with games in hand, and Japan’s only loss was to the Australians. All 4 sides traditionally play attractive football too, so this should be the group to make sure you don’t miss. There is also the added interest of admiring Japanese hair colouring. Glamour Central Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia What’s this; you don’t find a New Zealand / Slovakia clash really glamorous? Just wait... The general reaction to this pool in NZ has been mixed. On one hand there’s been over-confidence mixed in with the doom-mongering, and predictions of 5 goal spankings throughout. Then there have been the “Where are Paraguay and Slovakia anyway? They don’t play rugby” brigade. First of all it’s good to get Italy, because of all the heavyweights they are famous for not applying the blowtorch early in a competition. 2-0 at Half-time and full time anyone? NZ teams have historically struggled more than normal against South American teams, and Paraguay must be pretty happy with this draw. So it’s the first game against Slovakia that Herbert and co will be targeting as the ambush. In the All Whites favour is the fact that both Slovakia and Paraguay will be wanting to look after their Goal Difference balance sheets and so will keep on pushing forward. The Axis of Bullying Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal Oh dear; someone is having a laugh here. And not just the fools labelling this the Group of Death. Anyone with a basic knowledge of the Group of Death concept just knows all 4 teams need to be strong, so just cut it out. This pool features 3 strong teams, all capable of racking up the goals playing cat and mouse with each other and then trying to put as many past North Korea as possible. And to make it worse, North Korean players don’t even have the motivation of playing for contracts. Having said that; it’s their matches that will be the highlight of this group; the other matches will be more about tactics than anything else. And there are some pretty expert divers lined up each other too. Espanol Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile This is actually a bad group for Spain. Traditionally they arrive to a World Cup as one of the favourites, and fly through their groups. Then they come unstuck at the first sign of pressure. So playing a couple of former colonies and an un-enterprising bunch of bell ringers is hardly going to help their preparation. Especially when their first knockout team will be from the Axis of Bullying. So enjoy watching them having a bit of fun in group play. Comments here
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
©2006 Epoch Media. Sportsfreak is an Epoch Media site. |