Sportsfreak

In his autobiography “Open”, Andre Agassi declared his supposed hatred for the game of tennis. He loathed it apparently. Poor baby.

Yet, in what is quickly becoming a gigantic yawn, hot on his heels is the next cab off the rank in Serena Williams. She also hates tennis. Hates it I say! Never one to keep her feelings to herself (which is grossly unfortunate in itself), Williams has suggested that she is sick and tired of playing the game, having been forced out on to the court by her father at the age of three.

Cry me a river.

Strangely, Williams – like Agassi before her – appears to have missed a reasonably important point. With this in mind, I would like to offer her some sage advice from an older, wiser head. Serena, assuming that your father Richard is not physically holding a gun to your head (and in fairness, one sometimes wonders), one option remains available to you. This option could spare you the obvious heartache you are suffering, and save you from this overwhelming sense of doom. Yes Serena, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t tell Daddy, but you could always……and by the way, you can thank me later for this.…..retire.

Yes, you heard me. Retire. What’s the matter? Is $34,751,934 in career earnings not enough for you? Or it may be that you feel you haven’t quite threatened to kill enough officials yet.

Serena and Venus Williams have had a checkered history with the media, and the sporting public in general. Their immense power and on court skill could never be questioned, yet they have at times been portrayed as ungracious brats. To inflame the situation further, the sisters (and indeed Richard) have in turn played the race card on occasion, suggesting that officials, tournament organisers, the public, the media blah blah blah are all out to get them. Any criticism of their attitudes is therefore – somehow – a racial attack.

Yet whilst it sounds harsh, ungracious is the perfect summation.

Both are infamous for dropping out of tournaments at the drop of a hat (the ASB Classic being the latest of many before it), abusing officialdom and crying like four year olds when things don’t go their way.

Yet at the top of their game, they were absolutely world class, to the point that during some of their reign, nobody else got a look in. They were completely dominant, and no other woman looked to have the arsenal to compete with their incredible physical (and mental) power.

It’s a pity for the sisters therefore that their reputation as brilliant players will most likely be tarnished by petulant attitudes, and tiresome personalities.

I’ll say it again Serena – do yourself a massive favour. If you really, truly hate the game of tennis so much as you claim, unburden yourself and retire. You’re lucky – unlike some others who will struggle in retirement after 50 years or so working in jobs that they hate, just as you claim to be, you may just have enough in the bank to scrape by.