By The Spotter
1. Every time you see a traffic pointsman on duty, you suddenly think he’s going to signal a four or six.
2. You find yourself practising forward defensives with your putter on the golf green.
3. Your idea of a perfect afternoon is spent watching every ball of Scotland vs the UAE.
4. On the odd occasion you don a pair of gardening gloves, you subconsciously begin simulating your batting stance.
5. Whenever you hear the word “silly”, you think “mid-off or on”?
6. You have trained your dog to become an expert wicketkeeper/fielder for backyard cricket.
7. You don’t give up halfway through when explaining the rules and foibles of the game to a foreigner.
8. You can recite (Sir) Richard Hadlee’s test-career bowling average off by heart.
9. You tap down the pitch even when it’s the concrete of your driveway.
10. You equate a fine leg as strictly a cricketing term and nothing else.
11. You long to paint something beige around or inside your home
12. You score the match when you are at the ground (and you have a range of different-coloured pens which is similar in number to this guy)
13. You wander through a sports store just so you can practice a range of strokes with various bats from the stock, during which you mutter on about the qualities of each bat to no-one in particular. And it goes without saying that you have one ‘go to’ shot for this trialling purpose, (which by the way will never actually result in the purchase of an actual bat).