Drug Bat

By Pie Chucker

The perils of international travel for travelling sports teams were illustrated recently in the Caribbean Premier League. Although the CPL is considered to be the domestic T20 cricket league of the West Indies, the various teams are of course all separate nation states and some of the travel arrangements can become convoluted.

So it was that the Guyana Amazon Warriors – featuring Kiwis Martin Guptill and Jimmy Neesham – found themselves flying from Kingston, Jamaica to the tiny island of St Kitt’s last week. These two locations are but 1500 kilometres apart, yet the journey by plane can be undertaken only via Miami, where US Customs officials deemed that one of the bats owned by Lendl Simmons needed to be tested to determine whether it contained drugs.

Simmons later received his bat back, but only after three large holes had been drilled in it, rendering it useless. One can only be thankful he wasn’t a violinist carrying a Stradivarius as a tool of his trade:

Imagine if your cricket gear went through America and they drilled holes in your bat to look for drugs… pic.twitter.com/oaxAFJAvSK

— Jimmy Neesham (@JimmyNeesh) August 8, 2014

Naturally the Twitter community is never slow to seize upon such a story and it wasn’t long before the hashtag #drugbat produced a raft of suggestions involving cricketer’s names. Here is a list of some of the best – see if you can spot the five which are actually real names:

 

Hashish Nehra

Wasim Smackram

Arul Supplier

Glenn McGrass

Rehab Riaz

Floyd Reifer

Malcolm Speed

Abdur Prozzaq

Darren Ganja

Hashim Amla

Hashwell Prince

Heroin Morgan

Alistair Coke

Keegan Meth

Ajunkie Rahane

Kemar Roach

Dion Hash

Pill Tufnell

Marijuana Ranatunga

Andrew Caddict

Herbal Gibbs

Cokane Williamson

Acid Rauf

LS Dhoni

Alex Inhales

Ed Joynt

Ravi Asprin

Druggie Bollinger

Henry Obonga