She Keeps No Secrets.

So we have ourselves a scandal.  Married footballers stray, gossip spreads and the lawyers enter the room.  Strange that for a player known for his patience and vision, Ryan Giggs has got this one so spectacularly wrong.

First of all he had an affair, and to make it worse the affair was with someone off Big Brother.  So it was hardly going to remain a secret.  But if he hadn’t got so precious the story would have been broken on The Sun, and most of the world would have forgotten about it within a week. 

But no; he got misled by Schillings Lawyers, and inflamed it out of all proportion.

Perhaps he should have checked their website  first.  The “a celebrity practice of the kind not seen outside LA” should have set the alarm bells off.  They slapped an injunction on The Sun, which inevitably led to the Rumour Mill swinging into action.

Rumour Mills in 2011 are pretty fast moving and efficient things.  It’s called the internet, and Facebook and Twitter in particular man that information is instant.  And international.

And once information becomes prohibited it suddenly becomes interesting.  Within weeks there have been more than a million references to Giggs and this Imogen woman.  She got the fame she craved, and the injunction has backfired spectacularly on Giggs.  A decision even worse than when he chose to play international football for Wales.

Naturally the Scots stuck two fingers in the direction of the English judiciary like only the Scots can do.

Yes, Ryan, it’s out.  Chances of you ever being able to cover this one up were always going to be as realistic as Imogen’s tits.

Meanwhile the attempted secrecy around Gareth Barry’s affair is even more comical.  The Schilling brigade are calling for Giles Coren, English journalist, to be sent to prison for these now deleted tweets.

That’s right; people want a prison sentence for this

If it wasn’t for the big money deluded pomposity behind these people it would be funny, At least it is so clearly counter-productive.

So, this weekend, we will have a chuckle at Giggs, and next season we can sneer at Barry, and his attempt to send Coren to jail.

And learn the lesson that the great unwashed out there hold your collective bubble where you live in a fair bit of disdain.