You Cannot be Serious

By The Spotter

Seven points for a try, one or two points for a penalty goal, one point for a drop goal, points for tries calculated on how far the ball is carried past the goal line? And so it goes on.  What next- end zones and forward passes?  Hello bastardised American football, goodbye the great sport of Rugby Union as we once knew it.

With the greatest of respect, how many head knocks has it taken for some of our esteemed Rugby Union greats to suggest in some cases, huge and quite frankly bizarre changes to scoring in the game?  Am I missing something here?  Where is the perspective in all these proposals? (apart from a marketing one; and even that is highly questionable to my eyes).

W.W. Ellis would no doubt be turning over ruck ball in his grave if he knew what we were up to with all this surely unnecessary meddling.  Haven’t the 3,940 rule changes since 1987 (approx) been enough since 1987.  Why are some so hungry for even more convolution?

And Mr Hansen- for once oh great gruff one I believe you have taken your eyes off the ball and taken a falcon straight to your noggin.   And we most definitely shouldn’t bring any proposals back from Buck (Shelford)- magnificent player and fine man though he is.  But seriously Buck? Differing points values for a try according to how far back the ball is grounded into the deadball area?  Good god almighty, one can see it now… Newsflash: Forsyth Barr stadium’s capacity suddenly reduced by 1500 due to bulldozing of several front rows at ends of grounds to accommodate new 25-metre end zones and accompanying new thirty cheerleaders.  Is this not sounding a little ridiculous already?

If all these sudden proposed changes from some national Unions and past greats et al are driven by wanting to grow the sport to having greater participation in far- (and not so far) flung parts of the globe, how about attracting new people to the game by using some of that exorbitant television revenue to coerce ex or present stars into running coaching clinics or fronting roadshows in those places?  I don’t see a few extra points tacked onto a final result being any type of magical panacea to make Rugby Union any more accessible or wildly entertaining compared to now.

Quite honestly I’m aghast and apoplectic in about equal measure over some of this lunacy.  I may be getting a long way above my lowly station here, but as JP McEnroe infamously yelled in the 80s, “You cannot be serious”!