Billy Joel’s Weekend
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By Aiden McLaughlin
(Think about the tune to ‘We didn’t start the fire’ before you start to read)
Friday and Augusta’s on, mobile phones must stay at home
Justin Rose leads the pack, Rory goes and hits his Dad
Tommy Fleetwood hole in one, Tiger Woods is stuck at home
Big Bryson starts to shout, Sergio is missing out
IPL starts up again, Jamieson plays his first game
Lovely Trenty’s back for more, 1 for 36 from 4
Big Show, AB, Bumrah and Lynnsanity
RCB get the job done, Virat Kohli’s having fun
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
After 80 minutes no-one deserves to win it
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
If it’s not a knockout then just let it fade out
Warriors v Manly, Ken Maumalo century
Nathan Brown’s 250, will surely end in victory
Oh no not again, the loyal fans in a world of pain
Cherry-Evans with the kick and Roger feels so very sick
Saturday at the Mount, rain is everywhere no drought
All’s not lost let’s get them out, for 25 overs a shout
Tahuhu gets a sixfer, the White Ferns needed much, much more
Aussie women win again and now they’ve gone home on their plane
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
After 80 minutes no-one deserves to win it
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
If it’s not a knockout then just let it fade out
Saturday in Dunedin, Super Rugby Round Seven
Mitch Hunt missing shots, DMac is smiling a lot
Frizell and Luke Jacobson, good luck trying to tackle one
Josh Ioane back on show, boys in blue have gone for now
23 each is that it, no it’s not, we need to split
Ok, golden point, Damian lights up the joint
The Zoo crowd decides to stay, we’ll have a party anyway
Tony Brown cheesecutter, Joey Wheeler’s seen no more
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
After 80 minutes no-one deserves to win it
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
If it’s not a knockout then just let it fade out
Sunday arvo Wellington, Wifi in Sky Stadium
John Campbell tweeting Canes, Moody plays his hundredth game
Jules says ‘the bus is back’, his bro plays like a maniac
Ruben Love gets a start, Ngani gets a yellow card
Hurricanes take the lead, not for long here’s Sevu Reece
27 all this game, damn it’s golden point again
Richie Mo’unga restart, who will play the winning part
Havili will get the drop, he’s standing right there in the slot
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
After 80 minutes no-one deserves to win it
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
If it’s not a knockout then just let it fade out
Sunday night brings Mark Rudan, the Phoenix have a different plan
Western go and take the lead, levelled up by Ulises
Two a piece, VAR, we have seen it all before
Wait a minute, what really, the Phoenix have just won with three
Monday morning Amen Corner, Georgia weather is a stunner
Happy Gilmore in the news, patrons have a sneaky snooze
Matsuyama wow what play, Japan National Holiday
Green jacket, endorsements, he’ll never need to play again
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
After 80 minutes no-one deserves to win it
What’s wrong with a rugby draw
Because when we are gone, the sport will still go on and on and on and on and on….
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